pretty.

Hey guys, it’s been a minute. I wanted to write about something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. Beauty. Living in a world where what’s on the outside is what seems to matter most, and seeing how my pretty friends get way more attention than I do, it’s no wonder I have a few hang ups about appearances. When I was younger, I would have given anything to trade my looks with someone else. I can’t say I’m much better now; except that I have improved to the extent that I don’t want to be anyone else. I do, however, want to improve myself so that I can feel confident. But there’s this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I could make all these improvements and still not be “enough”.

I just took a quick in-and-out road trip to Chicago to visit some friends, and on the way, I listened to Barianna’s The WOV Life Podcast (which is incredible by the way). And on her latest episode interviewing Gitty Berger, (an awesome person and makeup artist, and if you haven’t heard of her, are you really even alive?), they were discussing how Gitty had created a not-so-typical giveaway where in order to enter the contest, you had to do things out of your comfort zone that would ultimately allow you to grow as a person. Beyond the genius that was this marketing campaign, one of the entries required each participant to say, “I am enough,” into a camera. And boy let me tell you, that is a lot harder than it sounds. Confidence is so much more than external beauty.

We are told, it’s what’s inside that matters. But when we see all these gorgeous people with seemingly incredible lives, it’s hard to really believe that. I think the conclusion I’ve come to is that looks can only get you so far. Yes, they’re helpful (AKA, why I prayed real hard that my son would be good-looking when I was pregnant with him. Embarrassing, I know.) But at the end of the day, if your personality, your actions, and who you truly are don’t match your beautiful externals, it’s not really going to make all that much of a difference.

Want to hear more embarrassing things? So I’ve created a list of things I’d like to do to make myself feel more confident externally. No, I’m not going to share them on this blog, but they’re along the lines of losing weight, etc. (Another blog post is coming about my relationship to food, so keep your eyes peeled for that one.) I guess when I started this blog, it was supposed to be the catalyst to begin a life makeover. And part of said makeover is external. On condition that I work equally or more so on the internal makeover.

My favorite thing to see that disproves everything society is trying to brainwash us with is people who aren’t necessarily that good looking with a lot of great friends making serious moves in this world. And as much as I love having a super tidy and decorated home, (something I hope to have come the new year), I know way more people with messy and chilled homes having the type of environment and vibes I would kill for in my home.

I guess this was a bit of a ramble, but I guess I’m asking all of you to hold me accountable here. I’d like to change my outer appearance, while still remaining me. But more so, I’d like to grow inside, and attract the kind of people around me who can help me have a more life-changing “makeover”, if you will.

Wishing all of you a beautiful 2019.

XOXO,

Nehama

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